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Protesting Man Staples Scrotum to Pavement, Freaks Out All of Humanity

Gross
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You’ve gotta be nuts to try this.

Peter Pavlensky stapled his scrotum to the street in Moscow’s Red Square to protest Russia’s Police Day, although we think it’s really in protest of rational thought because the phrase “stapled his scrotum…” is not usually followed by anything that will make you go, “Oh, well, that makes sense.”

Pavlensky explained his brash move in a statement (presumably because he was in no position to give interviews while his man bits were tethered to the concrete like it was some sort of genius cost-cutting trick you see on ‘Property Brothers’):

The performance can be seen as a metaphor for the apathy, political indifference and fatalism of contemporary Russian society. As the government turns the country into one big prison, stealing from the people and using the money to grow and enrich the police apparatus and other repressive structures, society is allowing this, and forgetting its numerical advantage, is bringing the triumph of the police state closer by its inaction.”

Pavlensky went to the hospital for treatment of injuries, but he refused to be admitted because, come on, a nail through your scrotum is not something you need a doctor to help fix, right? All you need is a little Neosporin and you’re as good as new. You can look that up in the Journal of Made-Up Remedies.

Pavlensky is no stranger to self-mutilation. He once sewed his lips together and tied himself in barbed wire. We recommend that he chops off his hands so he stops treating his body like a human voodoo doll.

He was cited for his actions and could spend about two weeks in the slammer.

If you want to see Pavlensky’s latest stunt, you can check it out here, but be warned. The video is very NSFW and will make you shudder worse than if you were being forced to sit through an entire episode of ‘The View.’

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