Name: Nana Necktats

Location: Hell's Kitchen, NY

Occupations: Walmart greeter and prescription drug mule (primarily Cialis).

Hobbies:  Knitting, doom metal, baking with the grandkiddies, vandalism, collecting precious moments figurines, smashing precious moments figurines under her steel-toe combat boots.

6 Things She Can’t Live Without: Medicare, double bass, a shower seat, PBR tallboys, craft stores and her medic-alert bracelet engraved with "666."

Skills: Infamous for her YouTube mashups of Slayer and Frankie Valli. (When informed that she had gone viral, she made an appointment with her internist.)

Her Motto: “Of all the names I've been called, I like Grandma best!...Well, either that or Destroyer of Souls."

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.