Name: Bend Her

Occupation: Human chair

Interests: Gumby, Stretch Armstrong, pottery, flubber, Robert Patrick in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Mister Fantastic from the Fantastic Four. I absolutely HATE pilates and yoga.

Hobbies: Pole dancing, lap dancing, no pants dancing, cheerleading, gymnastics, inventing new positions for the next edition of the Kama Sutra.

What I’m Doing With My Life: Working towards my Bachelor's degree with a double major in mathematics and engineering. Also trying out for the Blue Man Group and Cirque de Soleil.

5 Things I Can’t Live Without: Tylenol, walls, health insurance, mutated genes and my protractor.

The First Thing People Notice About Me: My feet -- since they are always at eye level.

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.