Names: Vulture and Pancake Marianelliolo-Manicotti-Stugots

Location: Deer Park, Long Island

Occupations: Tag-team duo of the Strong Island Gladiators, a local copycat league of the early 1990's TV show 'American Gladiators.' Matches are held every Friday at 8pm in the West Gymnasium of St. Giovanni the Divine. Parking is available in the Buy Rite Liquors Lot after 7:45pm. (Please do not arrive early for a match, as Overeaters Anonymous meetings run until 7:55pm.)

Hobbies:  Gym, tan, laundry, battle, repeat.

6 Things They Can’t Live Without: Spray tans (No thanks, cancer!), a 24-hour gym membership, beef jerky, Mike's Hard Lemonade, the Long Island Railroad (they try to get into 'the city' at least twice a year), and each other.

Skills: Un-defeated champions of the Foam Pit of Doom. Vulture was Miss April in the 2012 American Beef Jerky Association Calendar.

Their Motto: "Off-roadin' and carbo loadin, 365 days a year!"

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.