This is a story that sounds gets less interesting the more you read about it. Allow us to explain, though really you've got no choice but to let us, so stop acting like you've got power in this relationship.

When we first saw the story we thought the guy ate an entire hobbit, which is incredibly impressive considering the average hobbit probably tastes like crap. We don't care how well they are seasoned, just the thought of those nubby, dirty feet in our mouths made us verp. We read the headline again and saw the "Denny's menu" part and felt less queasy and less impressed. When it was revealed that the guy was professional eater Jamie McDonald then this whole thing just started to feel like an cheap ad for 'The Hobbit', Denny's and sheer gluttony.

'The Hobbit' menu consists of dishes like Frodo's Pot Roast, The Ring Burger and Bilbo's Berry Smoothie. In total, McDonald feasted on 8610 calories and a total of 9.75 pounds of food in just 19 minutes and 25 seconds.

Suddenly hobbit feet don't sound so bad.