Soccer Mom Vampire Hunter – Hot Mess of the Day

Name: Betty James Bradley, Vampire Hunter

Occupation: I’m a stay-at-home mom who drops her kids off at marching band practice and occasionally tracks demons of the night.

Interests: Beenie Babies, ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer,’ bumper stickers, DIY crafts, rocks, car mechanics.

Hobbies: Car decal collecting, sending hate mail to Stephanie Meyer for the literary abomination she birthed into this world, creating my own weapons out of everyday house-hold appliances in case of a spontaneous apocalypse.

What I’m doing with my life: Doing the best job I can to raise a perfect, God-fearing child… Although, she I fear she’s developing telekinetic powers and might in the near future have a meltdown at her prom.

Five things I can’t live without: Crucifix, necklace of garlic, crossbow, holy water and a stake. (Literally, I CAN’T live without them.)

The first thing people notice about me is: Probably the stuffed dog that sits on my car’s dashboard.

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HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.