Name: Your Worst Nightmare

Occupation: The front-desk greeter in your office building.

Interests: Real-life Pinterest, music from rom-com soundtracks that are perfect for listening to while sitting alone in an poorly-lit room, Instagram, that movie 'Swimfan.'

Hobbies: Reminiscing about every guy who treated me nice while listening to Dido's "I Don't Want to Wait." Does that count as a hobby? 'Cause it takes up a lot of my time.

What I'm doing with my life: Waiting for Mr. Right. He's out there somewhere, but I think I've already met him. Question is... Who is it?

What are 5 things you can't live without?: Reliable safe-sex products, the 'Dawson's Creek' box set, my hidden camera, night lights, and I also can't live without... You!

What's the first thing people notice about you?: My sweet smile that convinces you I'm a nice girl and distracts you from the Roofie I'm slipping in your drink.

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. And Ladies! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email.