Name: Hurricane Sandy

Location: Atlantic City, NJ (UPDATED: Floating on a large piece of boardwalk, just off-shore)

Occupation: Burlesque dancer in an X-Rated interpretation of Hans Christian Anderson's 'Little Mermaid' (All resemblance to Disney characters are purely coincidental.)

Hobbies: Body painting parties, torturing her subs (BDSM), torturing her subs (hoagies)

3 Things She Can’t Live Without: Atlantic City nightlife, Party City coupons, eel sushi.

Skills: Taking charge, making a splash, and helping out the world's poor, unfortunate souls.

Her Motto: “THIS BLOWS, LET'S GO TO WHITE CASTLE."

HEY, GUYS! This is not a real profile. It was made up for the sheer entertainment that comes from browsing through pictures of, well, hot messes. BTW! If you or someone you know should be one of our Hot Messes of the Day, send us a quick email at jackie [@] guyspeed.com.