8 Reasons Why Our Pets Hate Us
If ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ taught us anything, it’s that our time as the dominant species is waning and these are the reasons why.
8. We Hog The Spotlight
Rover needs to let out his inner Yoko but young Ed Norton here won’t share the limelight. This would be fine if this kid’s head made a better stool, but at this rate the only song Tintin will be singing is “Drop It Like It’s Hot.” We just hope the pup finds his inner diva and forms his own group before he ends up singing the first verse of “Row Row Row Your Boat” over and over again with this little guy as back up.
7. We Don’t Let Them Play With Us
First off, why is it that Russian dudes are always wearing sweatpants? Our guess is this cat wishes Vladimir would’ve also fashioned some slippers out of Charmin since he got punted on his way back from the litter box. We’re not certain this workout is effective, but we are fairly sure that cat is going to drop kick a “tootsie roll” in this guys Adidas.
6. We Don’t Let Them Break Dance With Us
Before you pull on your parachute pants and lay down some cardboard maybe you should pitch a yarn ball to the other end of the lawn so you don’t brain Whiskers doing a head spin. We’re not saying that cat didn’t look like he launched into this air raid willingly, but if the legs were spinning a little higher Fluffy wouldn’t need catnip dispensed through an IV.
5. We Try To Steal Their Thunder
Addison here has already had enough of this little girl stealing her spotlight. We’re sure Addison was the center of attention before this chick came into the picture with her smug little happy dance. We love that the dog seems to be enjoying the day, wagging her tail and “playfully” nudging the baby along in a harmless game of tag, or more like SITTHEF*$#DOWNANDLETMEPLAY — We think that’s a four player game though.
4. We Underestimate Them
Don’t hang a target and then get your face in the way.
3. We Don’t Let Sleeping Does Lie
When we’re catching a little nap it’s rarely interrupted. Mainly because our naps generally take place at 2pm on a weekdays when everyone else is at work, but we also tend to find the oddest places comfortable (e.g. bathtubs, under the coffee table, the neighbor’s mustang parked on the lawn). However, this dog should punch whoever is keeping him from air-chasing cats in in his sweet dreams in the throat. He’s clearly struggling to hold his head up over that bandanna and will need some R&R before he can finish the chores.
2. We Don’t Get That No Means No
This horse likes being rushed about as much as we do when we’re struggling to earn that last achievement in *insert the name of any video game here* so we get it when the horse hauls off and donkey kicks the guy who shows up out of nowhere clapping behind him like a symbol monkey.
1. We Abuse Them For Enjoyment
At least we now know if cats are going to take over the world we can always stop them by sticking some tape on their heads.