So I broke it off with someone I really liked a lot three days ago, and then immediately got the flu. I don't want to talk about it, leave me alone. I mean, Happy Valentine's Day! Let me tell you about the weird dream I had last night!
Using your smartphone to find content to spank-off to while in the office bathroom is a sure-fire way to end up with a nasty virus that could damage your equipment forever. No, we’re not talking about contracting some bizarre strain of jungle clap that will make your foreskin look like something off of the ‘Walking Dead’ – we’re talking about downloading potentially hazardous malware from all those porn sites you visit.
At first glimpse, the whole scene depicted in this video appears to be a nightmare found underneath Stanley Kubrick’s mattress; it has the pulse of a three-way gang-bang under the anonymity of a few wretched venetian fiend masks that look as though they were salvaged from either a back alley dumpster or a Bangkok rape kit. Yet, further inspection reveals that this twisted performance is all part of one of Japan’s most ancient public sex rituals – Ondra Matsuri, which translated means “Rice Field Festival.”
This recently developed app claims it can predict the size of a man’s erection with nearly the same accuracy as a crooked bookie in a horserace. Dr. Chris Culligan says his Predicktor app is a fun and interactive way to help all of those guys walking around with “little pecker syndrome” to see that they really aren’t packing that much less than the common man.
If you need a road map or someone in your ear instructing you like Cyrano de Bergerac when it comes to sex, chances are your pool of prospective mates has probably shriveled up more than George Costanza’s you-know-what after a swim.
Life advice: Don't drunkenly text a picture like this to your neighbor with some slightly-misspelled version of "I made a bedsheet tent, are you still awake?" unless you love opening big, awkward cans of worms. In other news: I'm thinking about installing a breathalyzer on my phone.
“Is that a see-through dress, or are you just happy to see me?” Much like how clear heels tell us that a woman will most likely give us a lap dance, thanks to one Dutch fashion designer you may never again have to wonder if she’s into you -- this new dress becomes transparent when the wearer’s heart rate rises, making things rather...clear.
There is a bizarre new phenomenon gaining some momentum in correctional facilities around the world that supersedes all other twisted anomalies commonly found in the underworld of the prison system; even toilet ripple.
Ah, College -- it's not just the place to get an advanced education, but a carnal education as well. On campus we learn a lot about hooking up (and if we're lucky, some freaky experimentation) before settling down after graduation. Are students really hitting the sheets as much as they are hitting the books? According to a recent Sexual Satisfaction Survey conducted by Lifestyles Condoms, they sure are. Lucky bastards.
If you've always lived your life by the age-old myth that you can burn 300 calories every time you knock athletic shoes with your partner in carnal knowledge, a new study suggests that you might want to start bumping uglies on a stationary bike or elliptical machine – recent findings show the average person only burns roughly 21 calories while barely sweating it out in the sack.
Cheer up, buddy, you're certainly not the first guy to get a case of the drips. On this day in 1747, London men everywhere breathed a collective sigh of penicillin-fueled relief, and it wasn't because they met these terrifying giant condoms, that's for sure.
The 2013 Super Bowl will feature many commercials. You can even check here for what movie trailers will be running during the 2013 Super Bowl. But what you won't see is a :20 ad for web site PornHub, which was summarily rejected by CBS. The good news? You can watch it now.
To the untrained eye, the geriatric world may seem like one full of applesauce dinners, clabber tournaments and bulky adult diapers, but it's also a lustful society of seniors looking to get their wrinkled balls-a-bouncing on nearly anything that moves.
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