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Hey, Don't Be This Nose-Picking, Masturbating Train Passenger
It's just another part of living in New York City.

Delicious Study Reveals Which State Loves Bacon the Most
North, south, east or west -- no state in the good ol' sky-high-cholesterol, sodium-consumin', grease-lovin' U.S. of A loves bacon more than this one.

Hilarious X-Rated News Bloopers Are Why We Keep Tuning In
News bloopers are great. Dirty news bloopers are even better.

Haunted House Is So Terrifying You Need to Sign a Waiver
There's scary. Then, there's this.

Behold the Safest And Most Dangerous States for Online Dating
Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?

12 Hot Females to Follow on Snapchat
If you're looking to follow some hot chicks on Snapchat, here's 12 accounts you should follow.

Congrats to the Troubled Soul Who Just Got His 28th DWI
This guy *may* have a drinking problem.

Desperate Man Robs Gas Station With...Hand Lotion?
What in the name of Neutrogena is going on here?

Police End Interrogation Because Suspect Farted Too Much
Perhaps he should try the "whoever smelt it dealt it" defense.

Woman Kills Man for Failing to Share Crack on Thanksgiving
Before Black Friday, there's Crack Thursday.

Gross #PortaPottyChallenge Is Bacteria-Filled Fun for All
Be thankful you can't smell this.

Putz Who Stole $1 and a Plant Going to Jail for Up to 15 Years
Don't do the crime(s) if you can't do the time.

Sierra Nevada Issues Gigantic 36-State Recall
Important news for beer drinkers.

Jeepers Creepers! Colossal Skeleton Cruisin' the City Goes Viral
Do you know how to tell it's officially fall? When you see a giant skeleton bustin' out of a parking lot in a Jeep.

Two Colorado Police Officers Not Charged for Fatal Mall Shooting
Two Colorado police officers are not facing criminal charges in connection with the shooting that left a suspect dead.

Woman Drives 20 Minutes Knowing Ginormous Spider Is In Her Car
This isn't the type of passenger who should get a ride with you.

6 Reasons Why Halloween Is Actually Overrated
Halloween is a scary good time for most of us. We watch horror movies, we dress up, we get candy. What's not to love, right?

Couple Busted Doing the Nasty in McDonald's at a Peculiar Time
Quick, what's the last thing you'd expect to see in a McDonald's during a lunch rush? Well, the last thing beside the line moving quickly.

Dingbat Tries to Use Monopoly ‘Get Out of Jail’ Card in Real Life
There have been changes in Monopoly, but this isn't one of them.

'Things I Wanna Text My Ex' Is Therapy for the Broken-Hearted
There are so many things you probably want to tell your ex. Now's your chance to do it, without the ugly blowback it may cause.
