Christmas? Done. New Year's? Ancient history. You might be sad the season is over and life gets back to its normal ho-hum 9-5 routine, but it’s actually time to rejoice more than you did at the office holiday party and the New Year's bash you don't even remember.
Yup, the holiday season ending isn't all bad news. Not by a longshot. Here’s why you should be thrilled it's finally over.
No More 'December to Remember Sales Event' Commercials
Seriously, Lexus, just take a page from ‘Frozen’ and let it go (which, ironically, everyone in America is also sick of). We can’t verify this, so we’d love a scientific study done to prove that these annoying commercials are actually the reason some people do not buy a Lexus. That and it’s impossible to find a bow big enough to put over any vehicle, like you see in these terrible ads.
Your Family Has Gone Home
Look, as nice as it may be to have the folks in town, it’s even nicer to have them leave so you can re-claim your home. The possibility that you may walk into your hallway to see your father-in-law and his wolfman-hairy back sauntering from the bathroom with only a towel around his waist to the guest room should be enough to wish him back to his area code.
The Kids Are Going Back to School
Far-flung relatives aren’t the only ones bidding adieu. The kids return to school, meaning quiet has come back. We recommend the first day off you take from work in the new year should take place the first day school opens again. Just stay home and soak in the silence. You don’t even have to do anything. Just stare at the wall and embrace the fact order has been restored.
We Can Eat and Drink Like a Normal Person Again
The period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s is like a neverending buffet of calories and sweets. Seriously, the castaways on ‘Survivor’ don’t eat this much once they’re booted off the island, Eventually, it has to stop or our waistlines will expand like Violet in ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.’ Even if you’re not among the mass of people who claim they’re going to try and lose weight in the new year, it’s actually nice to eat something without an enough sugar to turn you diabetic just by looking at it.
We Can Stop Using the Words “’Tis,” “Mistletoe” and “Jolly”
Like your Jewish friends and their Hanukkah menorah, go ahead and tuck this away somewhere where it won’t be used for the next 11 months. At first, the novelty of using the Christmas vernacular is amusing, but then it gets more worn out than a Taylor Swift song. Have you ever tried to use the words “’tis,” “mistletoe” and “jolly” in, say, April? You just sound odd.
The Super Bowl Is Within Sight
Yes, the NFL playoffs are here! With all the holiday hoopla you may not have even noticed that your team made the postseason, but now you can jump back on the bandwagon. We’re only about a month out from the biggest annual event in America, which should contractually be the next time we’re allowed to pig out.
All the Potential Oscar-Winning Films Are Out
Yes, the Academy Awards are on deck, too. And while you may not fancy yourself a fan of any movie with a British accent or Meryl Streep or Meryl Streep with a British accent, you’ve got to be at least a little excited because once the red carpet is unfurled, out steps a line of Hollywood’s A-list longer than Carrie Underwood’s legs. That’s not a bad thing, is it?