Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a literary slop zombie; a mutt breed of surrealism and violence; a man who likes his metal heavy and his rock southern. In May of 2007, he boldly published a book of maniacal short stories entitled ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: Redneck Tales from the Armpit of America’ - selling more than 10,000 copies worldwide. However, in 2010, he released ‘Toilet Bowl Soup: The Holy Sh*t’, which sold about 100 copies - if you count close friends, relatives and other people who felt sorry for him. Mike Adams also co-stars in the films ‘Watch Out’, ‘Phone Sex’, ‘Wamego: Ultimatum’, and ‘Trust Me’. He has also contributed music to the movie “It Came from Trafalgar” starring Hank Williams III and Gunnar Hansen from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Mike Adams currently resides in Southern Indiana where he writes for a number of Townsquare Media websites, HIGH TIMES, Playboy's The Smoking Jacket, and Hustler magazine.

Drinking Cow Urine May Ward Off Disease But Also Means You Have to Drink Cow Urine

It's a real toss-up.

Saudi Arabia May Be Forced to Eliminate Hassan Chop Execution Practices Due to Swordsmen Shortage

The Saudi Arabian government might need to consider contacting Steven Seagal, as a new report indicates that due to a shortage of swordsmen with just the right chops, leaders may soon be forced to have criminals executed by firing squad as opposed to the traditional beheading.

The United States Wants to Ban Boozehounds From UN Budget Meetings

Drunken diplomats could soon be banned from attending United Nations budget negotiation meetings. That’s because earlier this week, the United States put forth a proposal asking the committee to consider prohibiting lushes and boozehounds from disrupting negotiations held by the budget assembly.

Man Claims Stolen Beer Is His Wiener

In a wicked world of dishonest boozehounds and ripple junkies, one should never be too surprised by the size of the cojones on these shifty characters; that is, unless the bulge in their pants carries a striking resemblance to a couple cans of beer. At that point, you can rest assure that you are being ripped off.

Brazilian Sex Doll’s Virginity Being Auctioned Off

In a sleazy underworld full of throbbing perversion, there is a counterculture of sex fiend that exists, which not only wishes to engage in the nipple-biting taboos of the flesh, but they are also willing to drop their life savings trying to obtain such unusual fruits of Babylon – or in this case, Brazil.

Unload Your Tax Refund Check at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch

While the American economy still remains slumped over from having its colon savagely plunged atop purple mountains and amber waves of grain, the bunnies at a Nevada brothel say they are going to do their best to stimulate Uncle Sam’s package by letting the citizens of this great country unload their tax refunds on them.

Scientists Say Life Is Possible on Jupiter’s Europa Moon

Scientists believe that the key to discovering extraterrestrial life could lie deep in the festering, underground oceans of Jupiter’s ice-covered moon Europa. New research suggests that if the salt water ocean beneath the surface of the frigid moon ever makes it's way to the surface, creating an intergalactic petri dish capable of producing a life-promoting environment.

Football Field-Sized Asteroid to Pass Earth This Weekend

A giant asteroid the size of a football field is scheduled to pass through Earth’s atmosphere over the weekend. Scientists say that the 330-foot-wide fiery rock will miss striking the Earth’s surface by nearly 600,000 miles - about three times the distance between our planet and the moon.

Playboy Magazine Releases Hebrew Version

No longer will Israelis be subjected to spanking off to nudie magazines in a language other than their own; this week Playboy released a Hebrew edition of the iconic lifestyle rag for the "discriminating gentlemen” of the holy land.

Bad News: Women Think Attractive Men are Funnier Than Us

Chiseled good looks are no match for a witty sense of humor, when it comes to snagging the woman of your wet dreams and taking her on a mattress ride. Unfortunately, a new study suggests that in a comedic battle of pretty boy vs. the ogre, most women will likely go home with the more handsome of the two, simply because beautiful people are perceived as funnier.

Man Breaks Back Into Prison By Impersonating Guard

Perhaps because he missed the food, or maybe he just missed getting his back hair gnawed at on a regular basis? Whatever the reason, an ex-inmate of New York’s Riker’s Island prison was recently charged with breaking back into jail by impersonating a guard.

New iPhone App Is Police-Grade Breathalyzer

It’s 2:50 AM, and the dive bar that you've been hulling up in trying to pick up on the ladies by masquerading as an up-and-coming musician is about to close. While your 1980 Ford Pinto is patiently waiting for you in the parking lot, there is a distinct possibility that you’ve had a few too many beverages to even consider saddling up for a late night journey home – alone, of course.

We’re Lost: Japanese Pecker Festival Wards Off STDs With Giant Schlongs?

In general, it's a good idea not to bend over anywhere in the vicinity of a rabid sex mob, but especially one that is wildly screaming the words “Kanamara, dekkai mara!” in the streets. We'll explain.

Astronomers Find a New Giant Planet Growing In Our Solar System

Um, the universe is in the process of giving birth to a new giant planet?! At least that seems to be the consensus according to a group of astronomers in southern Chile. We didn't know this was a thing that happened.

Space News: Best Chance of Finding Alien Life is in Dying Stars

Scientists now say that our world’s greatest chance of finding anything extraterrestrial is by analyzing the white dwarf stars that orbit around planets with Earth-like qualities, and search for lingering signs of oxygen.

Prehistoric Chainsaw Massacre: Helicoprion Was One Bad Mutha

The thought of a man eating, chew-you-up-and-turn-you-into sea poo brand of Great White is frightening enough to keep us out of the ocean during spring break; however, scientists say that the sharks of our time are goldfish in comparison to this fiendish 25-foot chainsaw-toothed, prehistoric killer known as Helicoprion.

Is Anheuser-Busch Watering Down Their Beer?

Anheuser-Busch is the subject of a multi-million dollar class action suit filed by dissatisfied beer drinkers and hellraisers all across America; the brewing giant stands accused of watering down many of its popular bands, including Budweiser and Michelob. Wait, is that why those beers taste so terrible?

Chinese Student Sodomized By His Bicycle and We are So So So Nauseous Now

Riding a bicycle with no seat is a parlor trick performed in nearly every circus, sideshow and trailer park redneck theatre production. These folks can post on top of a cold, piercing steel rod up without incident; they are not only true professionals, but seem to posses a rare kind of super sphincter that prevents them from taking the proverbial joyride straight to hell, via a cold steel rod. Unf

Booze School: What’s the Difference Between Scotch and Rye Whiskey?

For the alley drunkard, knowing the difference between scotch and rye whisky sort of falls on deaf livers ears. However, on the barstools of civil society sits a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed boozehound who is not only thirsty for a good ol' whisky buzz, but also for the knowledge behind that brown medicine that has him swingin' at everything that moves by the time the bar closes.

Millionaire Plans First Manned Mission to Mars for 2018

An entrepreneur with more money than God has decided that he wants to be one of the first men to complete a mission to mars. And while this space crusader with deep pockets may have the cash flow to pull of such an ambitious undertaking, some believe that he may have spread himself too thin by announcing plans to get his journey underway by 2018.