There Is One Simple Key to Escaping the Friend Zone
Other than "I love you," no three words can send shivers down the spine of any man with a libido quite like "the friend zone."
We've all been there, right? If you haven't, you are either really, really good looking, like Derek Zoolander, or a complete liar.
The friend zone, of course, is that wickedly awful phrase to describe when you're into a woman, who, sadly values you as a pal. You know, someone she can gab with about how tough her day was, talk about her excitement for the Gilmore Girls reboot, or, worst of all, whine about Carl, the meathead she met at the gym who wears tank-tops two sizes too small who you know is no good for her.
You've got the hots for her, but she's as oblivious to your interest as you are to C-SPAN's programming lineup.
This video (note some NSFW language) deftly explains the frustrations of being caged in the friend zone (pay special attention to the stages, which are eerily similar to the stages of grief).
And the one key to getting out of the friend zone may be the most important thing you ever learn. We won't say it here, but, trust us, it's harsh, even while it sadly makes perfect sense is not too practical and, barring plastic surgery, may result in a life of total solitude.