It starts innocently enough. You go out for a drink or two and the next thing you know, you wake up in a dumpster behind a Chinese restaurant wearing nothing but a tin foil hat and the unmistakable scent of regret.

Yup, the alcohol won. It always does.

In this humorous (and somewhat NSFW) video, we get some insight into what alcohol would say if it could talk. Sambuca, wine, vodka, whiskey, champagne, even beer -- they're all here, saying the things you know what it feels in its stomach-burning heart.

Alcohol is the naughty schoolgirl of beverage consumption. It looks innocent enough, but when not watched over, winds up creating havoc. In fact, if both aren't treated properly, they could each be involved in a pregnancy scare.

So, grab a (non-alcoholic, maybe?) drink and soak in the evil thoughts these kinds of liquor would yap if they could chat.