If you are looking to satisfy the sports nut in your life, we have a few suggestions that might make them take their mind off of their Fantasy NASCAR Team or wondering about the intricacies of the BCS algorithm. Of course, if your particular sport nut is a Penn State alum and you like to play in the inappropriate league, we highly recommend ordering them a Nittany Lion Shower Curtain/Towel set from Sears.

Eye Black


We all know one – the guy who takes watching the game a little TOO seriously? If you really want to impress them, we present Farkas Eye Black. Why eye black you ask? Isn’t eye black for actual athletes? What if your game day warrior friend is presented with a glare at the stadium, how will they be able to tell if their team’s defensive linemen are playing a three or a five technique? What if they are presented with an unforgiving glare from a sliding glass door that is impeding them from counting how many seconds it takes for the pocket to be set? Please note, these aren’t some wimpy stickers – you will need a face cloth and some lava soap to remove.

NASCAR Leather Jackets


So your NASCAR fanatic needs to show their team pride and needs a leather jacket that will ensure they will never get hit by a car when they cross the street from their local watering whole? Bam – you can kill three birds with one lug nut by purchasing them a sweet #20 Joey Lagano Home Depot Leather Jacket. Added bonus, if they wear it when they go to pick something up at home deeps they may be approached and asked where to find wood screws.

Face Paint


Anyone can wear his or her authentic Aaron Rogers jersey. True NFL fans know you must paint your face in team colors to get real respect. For those super fans, the NFL has created handy kits that include the correct hues and a logo stencil along with detailed instructions to help get your ‘game face’ on. Thankfully for Jets fans there are only current team colors (green & white) – and they do not offer the throwback colors (blue and mustard yellow).

MMA Steel Cage Bed


How do you show your MMA fanatic friend that you were listening to them while they droned on for hours about Anderson Silva’s ground game, or if BJ Penn had the best triangle submission technique? Simple - get their kid an MMA Octagon bed. This will also help to ensure that some day their kid will get a matching tribal band tattoo to match mom and dad’s.

MLB Branded Coffin


What better gift for the ‘Die Hard’ baseball fan in your life than a branded coffin? Anybody can put the money out for a Washington Nationals Branded Urn – you can go the extra mile by getting the MLB nut in your life a full on coffin. If that special someone in your life is a ‘long suffering’ Red Sox fan, they will have somewhere to sleep even before the season starts.



If you happen to have a Ping Pong obsessed loved one in your life you should: A. find new friends and B. get this sweet machine for them and run. What is robo-bong? Think ‘Jugs’ machine for ping-pong players. This also helps because it gets you out of another dreadful game of ping-pong in a poorly lit stuffy basement lined with St Pauli Girl posters push pinned on faux wood paneling.

Weed Whacking Golf Club


For the golf nut that has everything and doesn’t mind stretching the rules a little bit -- How about a weed whacking golf club? If it doesn’t work the golf nut in your life can work on their swing and look cool as they trim up the area around the birdbath.

WNBA Season Tickets


The WNBA is Faaaaaantastic. Nope it isn’t but instead of watching Anthony Parker shoot bricks and play horrible defense, you can watch his sister shoot bricks and play horrible defense. If you are into teams that play below the rim, and have trouble executing pick and rolls, your kids 12 and under CYO league is NOT the only game in town.

Stadium Pal


Forgot taking this to a stadium – this bad boy would come in handy for the long lines getting out of the stadium. A brilliant innovation in personal relief, remember that Stadium Pals should not be shared. Even better, the company that makes the Stadium Pal claims it helps prevent urinary infections – who knew?

Jaime Hamel is the co-founder of the The Sports Hernia and writes for 30Nothings. He can be found tweeting away at @Dignan1973.

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