10 Ways To Romance A Zombie Enthusiast Chick

With all of the recent bouts of random cannibalism happening throughout the world, one has to step back and wonder.  Are these your every day cannibalistic murders? What if the government is covering up the beginning stages of a full-on zombie outbreak? 

Now is the time to approach that hot zombie enthusiast you’ve been admiring and formulate a solid zombie apocalypse plan. Here's how to win the affection of an apocalypse-ready femme fatale.

Shoot Up The Gun Range

The first place you should take your 'Dawn of the Dead' beauty is to your local gun range.  Show her that you know how to shoot a firearm.  Have her time you on how fast you can reload a weapon.  Nothing will show her that you’re ready for the zombie apocalypse more than showcasing this skill.  You should use some of those zombie targets for authenticity!  Ask your girl what her favorite firearm is, or how she plans to accumulate ammunition when society has fallen down around her.  

Go Camping

Show off your survival skills by taking your girl camping.  Don’t make this your mother’s camping trip; only bring the bare essentials. Show her that you can live off nature.  Bring your fishing rods and catch something delicious for dinner.  What's more romantic than descaling and gutting a living thing? When it's time to start the campfire, do it the old fashioned way.  Rub a few sticks together and prove you’re a man that can create some fire.  If you show your girl that you have what it takes to survive in the wild, you’ll be “pitching a tent” later that night.

Go To The Batting Cages

So the zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened yet, and you don’t have very many skulls to crush.  Taking your date to the batting cages is the next best way to show your girl that you can swing a bat like a champ.  Hit those baseballs and imagine they are the skulls of the undead.  Impress her with your batting skills, and she’ll imagine fending off zombies with one hand and holding yours with the other.

Go Hiking

When the world turns to chaos and civilization is no longer intact, you’re going to have to be able to walk long distances.  If you take your girl hiking through hilly terrain, you’ll show her that you can handle trekking long distances to get her to safety.  Make the hiking trail a particularly difficult one, because you never know what kind of terrain you’ll have to go through in order to avoid a few zombies.  While on the trail, climb a few trees.  See if she can climb them as well as you can.  This could be a fun game for the both of you to play, and she’ll see that you’re able to scale the highest trees to get away from the moaning undead.

Go Running

During the zombie apocalypse we’re all going to be doing a lot of running.  Taking your girl out for a run not only shows her you’re physically able to outrun a walking corpse, but you’ll see how fit she is. If she’s not that great of a runner in the beginning, she’s sure to get better with time.  After the two of you are able to get three miles under your belt without batting an eye, she’ll thank you for her newfound zombie survival skill.

Steal A Car

Your girl will understand that gasoline won’t be readily available during a zombie attack.  If you can start a car without a key, it could allow you to roam longer distances away from the undead.  Be careful though, you wouldn’t want to spend time behind bars for your little lady.

Pack A Survival Pack Together

You never know when the zombie apocalypse is going to happen.  Experts say you should always have a survival pack ready to go in case the dead begin to rise.  This is a great way to bond with your zombie girl.  Take her to your local hardware store to stock up on supplies.  Get matching backpacks! The both of you can decide together what is important to pack in your emergency survival bag. 

Get Her A Brand New Machete

Every zombie slayer knows that ammunition will be hard to come by when the apocalypse comes.  A true zombie apocalypse expert has their very own machete.  If she doesn't have one of these big-ole knives, you should go get her a brand new one.  Wrap it up nice with a shiny red bow, and present it to her in a fancy restaurant.  The other patrons won’t understand your romantic gesture, but she’ll gush over your thoughtful gift.

Make Your Survival Group List Together

When you know this girl is the one for you, it’s time to make some decisions.  Just like when planning a wedding, the both of you need to make a list.  This list isn’t just inviting Aunt Sally to a reception because she got you that great punch bowl last Christmas.  This is a list of people you know can help you survive.  Is her brother fast enough to run from the zombies?  Does your mom cook a mean squirrel stew?  These decisions are important for your survival; you should make them together.

Formulate a Plan Together

The most important thing to do with your zombie apocalypse partner is to make a plan together.  Where will you be hunkered down?  Where will you go when supplies run out?  If the two of you make these plans together, we guarantee that you’ll have your zombie girl’s heart.  Your plan better be good though, because if it’s not, she’ll leave you to wander alone in an abandoned city fighting for your life. Consider it a bad break-up.