Drunk Woman Shoves Puppy Down Her Pants

We all do some stupid stuff when we’re drunk. You know, like threatening to slap a cop with the nightstick in our pants or cooking some pot pie in a stranger’s house in our underwear. It happens.

Well, Johna Turner of Longmont, Colorado has introduced us to a new drunk behavior by shoving a puppy down her pants. Turner was involved in a domestic dispute on Tuesday, which turned into someone calling the cops. Side note: she was apparently knockin’ a few cold ones back before this whole thing happened.

After the cops arrived, the tipsy lady agreed to leave the apartment and come back for her dogs after the spins subsided. Sometime in the proceeding minute or so, Turner had a change of heart and decided to take one of her newborn Chihuahua puppies with her. Naturally, she put it in her pants. We don’t think Turner meant any harm by all this. The crotch region is just a convenient place to store things. We keep our lunches in our pants.

Turner was arrested, she did a little leg-shaking action, and the Chihuahua came out of her pant leg. None of the dogs were harmed during this drunken incident, but Turner remains in jail with a $2,500 bond.

Well, time for lunch. Nice! Raviolis!