Little Caesars Bacon Crust Pizza Will Delight, Then Kill You
Hey, guys, we don't want you to worry or anything, but we think you should know that Little Caesars is trying to murder us. But at least they plan on taking us down with a full belly and a smile on our faces.
The pizza chain has unveiled the Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish Pizza. The item features three-and-a-half feet of bacon wrapped around the crust, providing no escape from the cured meat.
The pizza will cost $12 (and untold medical costs for those of you who dare to eat it).
Little Caesars CEO David Scrivano said the bacon will be everywhere, noting, "Every time you take a bite out of the crust, you'll get bacon."
The Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish Pizza, which is almost as much of a mouthful to say as it is to eat, will also have pepperoni and some bacon sprinkled on it, just in case the bacon-infused crust isn't enough to make you question your decision to have pizza.
Hmm, it's nice to see Little Caesars work on its menu. We were starting to think they were actually only in business to make quirky commercials.
The pizza replaces the franchise's soft pretzel pizza, which, in health terms, is like replacing pipes with cigars.
We're not going to lie, though. This sounds delicious. We think we'll prepare for it by eating nothing but undressed salads and doing 1,000 pushups between now and the day it goes on sale.