Without question, the absolute least interesting storyline to appear on WWE television these last few months has been the ongoing feud between John Laurinaitis, General Manager of ‘Raw,’ and Theodore Long, General Manager of ‘SmackDown.’ The only thing at stake here is which of these two comical bunglers (one face and one heel) will be the fake boss of WWE’s main two scripted wrestling programs. It’s not a very compelling issue to begin with, and it hasn’t been helped by the fact that the main way the promotion has pushed it has been to encumber decent-enough matches with crazy complicated false finishes as Teddy and Johnny ring bells, call for additional officials and restart matches with wild abandon.

But what really makes the rivalry suffer is that while most of WWE’s other big-ticket feuds have made attempts to blend truth with fiction, cooking up a potent blend of worked-shoot goodness, the Teddy vs. Johnny storyline has been content to be a purely fictional, and frankly, pretty ridiculous affair. It feels like one of the arbitrary tertiary Survivor Series matches that WWE sometimes puts together to get wrestlers on the card, which is actually the contest’s only real selling point…

If you’re a fan of Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, Mark Henry, Christian, Dolph Ziggler or any of the other guys lacing up for this match, here’s your opportunity to see them on ‘WrestleMania,’ and their opportunity to get a fat paycheck for their involvement in the year’s most profitable event. It’s probably going to be an absolute clusterf*ck of a match, but at least you’ll get to see your favorite midcarder or cast-aside former main eventer.

That said, as a way to get midcarders some screentime during ‘WrestleMania,’ these humongous six-on-six matches pale in comparison to the sheer, unadulterated awesomeness of a Money in the Bank Match. I understand that particular stipulation has its on pay-per-view now, and it’s bonkers to have two, much less three Mr. Money in the Banks running around, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss starting ‘WrestleMania’ with an insane spot-fest that doubles as the anointing of the following year’s next big star.

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