Fetishes: we all have them, right? A little toe sucking here, a little diaper change there. Whatever your kink may be, though, we bet it doesn't hold a candle to the list below. If it does, we will eat your shoes. Without ketchup. Sexual fetishism is defined as sexual arousal derived directly from objects or specific situations...Or amputees? Yes, really. Here's our list of the ten weirdest fetishes we found, without searching very hard at all.

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    Cast Fetish

    We first heard about cast fetishism during a late night drinking session at a Brooklyn beer garden. We don’t ever want to hear about it again, really, but we'll educate you before wiping it from our memories forever, deal? Cast fetish technically falls under the wider umbrella of medical fetishism (which also includes anesthesia and temperature-taking fetishes). However, many cast fetishists are particularly aroused by the full-body cast. Sound a little intense? Why not start small? Maybe a wrist brace?

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    Grad school afford many opportunities, and one of them is certainly the freedom to do loads of research on crazy things like objectum-sexuals, who experience feelings of love, attraction, arousal, and commitment for inanimate objects. Remember the lady who married the Eiffel Tower? She would fit quite nicely under this category. We just can’t take these people seriously. There is also a woman who makes love to a part of the Golden-Gate Bridge...The real question is: which part?

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    Don’t confuse this term with inhaling nitrites; it is much, much worse. Popper is a term is attached to people who are sexually aroused by balloons popping and are said to have acquired this fetish from a phobia of balloons popping as children or later in life. Many believe the actual popping of the balloon may signify an orgasm. Going to children’s parties will have a whole new meaning to us from now on.

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    Simply put: People who are turned on by the idea of being an amputee. Disturbing? Yes. Something we want to witness? YES. Apparently Apotemnophilia is deeply linked (duh) to Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID.) These people are not turned on by other amputees (that’s acrotomophilia, don’t ya know.) The desire to become an amputee is so strong in these folks, and so few doctors would willingly amputate someone without legitimate cause, that the individual will sometimes willingly harm themselves in an attempt to damage that limb so that it would need amputation. Seems rational.

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    We are sad to say we have been a victim of this fetish. But if you are from New York City, chances are you have been too. Frotteurism refers to a paraphilic interest in rubbing against a non-consenting person for sexual gratification. Frotteurs generally engage in this fetish in crowded areas, such as clubs or trains where you can barely move or your face is deep in someone’s armpit. They choose these crowded places because the person on the (usually very unwilling) receiving end cannot easily address the situation.

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    Those of you who are Eastern European probably gasped before even reading the rest of this paragraph as you’d recognize that the beginning of that word is “Klisma,” which in most European languages, means enema. These people love stuff up their butts, and while that's not entirely uncommon, it's also not where it ends. The satisfaction gained through enema fantasies, receiving an enema, and the overall process of removing waste from your rectum via liquid/tube insertion is their version of your fantasy of Megan Fox. These sneaky folks will dupe you into believing they’re constipated, when all they really want is an orgasm. They obviously haven’t met The Cone.

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    No. Stop it. Farts turn these people ON? Eproctophilia is the fetish where men are attracted to a woman’s flatulence. There’s not much to say about this fetish except it might fall under the umbrella of the coprophilia fetish - which is the use of feces for sexual excitement. So next time she lets one slip, remember; there’s a man out there that isn’t you, who will love her, gas and all.

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    The big word refers to a form of sexual fetishism in which participants are aroused by erotic situations involving food. This is essentially food play, but not necessarily "sploshing"(rubbing food all over another’s body or yours, generally while nude.) See Mrs. Baker across the street baking a cake in her kitchen? Yes, she is getting off. Right then. Sitophiliacs can even be aroused by the preparation of food! You can't make this stuff up.

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    Technically falling under the Zoophilia umbrella (beastiality), Formicophilia is a fetish which involves the sexual interest and arousal received from letting insects crawl all over your body, or even inside of your body. Shiver. Before there was Facebook, there was LiveJournal – Facebook’s now unwanted step-sister. LiveJournal is essentially an online community of public diaries. We once stumbled upon a girl who graphically explained finding maggots, shoving them up her cooter and orgasming from the mere movements they were causing inside of her. Is there a porn spoof of A Bug's Life, yet?

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    Known as “Bonnie and Clyde” syndrome, Hybristophilia is the name for sexual arousal upon being with a partner known to have committed an outrage, or crime, such as rape, murder, or armed robbery (or religiously watching The Kardashians) We get it: the idea of a crazy robber babe is a turn on, but it probably doesn’t bode well for our credit report. This fetish is, in a nutshell, an indication that you could use some therapy.

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