Yankees Legally Declared ‘Evil Empire’ By Judges

Even the U.S. judicial system concurs: the New York Yankees are evil. The team recently used lawyers, not free agents, to assure they remained 'baseball's evil empire.' The term was originally derisively given to the Yankees by Larry Lucchino, the president and chief executive of the Boston Red Sox, in 2002.

When Evil Enterprises Inc., the owners of baseballsevilempire.com, recently filed a trademark claim for the term "Baseballs Evil Empire," the Yankees sent their lawyers in to object, essentially saying 'WE are baseball's evil empire.' The Yankees' lawyers showed people think the 27-time world champs are evil, having said so frequently in print and online, not to mention between four-letter words at stadiums. The Yankees also embraced the evil moniker, adding "The Imperial March," the music of the menacing Empire from 'Star Wars,' to the playlist at Yankee Stadium.

Trademark judges hearing the case in Washington, D.C had seen and heard enough, with no Sith choke hold needed.

"In short, the record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees," wrote the judges."

So, the Yankees can now do just about anything they want — steal signs, throw spitballs, punch umpires — and just claim' Hey, we're evil. Judges said so.' The Red Sox may want to employ a security firm to protect them.