If nothing else, the ashes of American history have served to teach us that not only is the definition of art fiercely subjective, but that people don’t seem to like anything that has a bigger pecker than they do – especially, if that sucker looks like it just escaped from the ninth gate of hell.

Just ask master welder David Smith, who upon moving into his new neighborhood in Paulden, Arizona, erected his prized nine-foot statue of an anatomically correct, metal gargoyle, and immediately began catching some flack from the locals.

Apparently, the oversized yard gnome is quite endowed, and that has some neighbors calling for the city to either force Smith to get rid of the statue or at least cover up its junk.

However, Smith says that he spent years creating the piece and that he built it a certain way for a reason. “Everything has a sex so why would I do it any other way? I don’t like Ken dolls or GI Joes. I think they’re kind of silly,” he said.

Still, city officials appear hell-bent on running Smith and his naked gargoyle out of town on a rail, saying that the lawn art does not fit in and is not compatible with the neighborhood. Yet, Smith says that forcing him to cover up the gargoyle’s man parts is a violation of his First Amendment rights, and he fully intends to push that argument at a County Board of Supervisors meeting next month.

Incidentally, the master welder says that he is currently working on a similar statue that he plans to showcase in his yard. Rumor has it that it’s a nine-foot penis with a gargoyle perched on top of it extending both middle fingers.

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