Changing our name to something completely badass is one of those fantasies us guys have, but we never follow through with it. Why? The women in our lives would kill us. You know-- “The Terminator” or “Optimus Prime." Well, we’re giving a big ole’ head nod to Mark Nokes over in England, because he legally changed his name to Darth Vader. Can you imagine role playing in bed with your lady and having full entitlement to go, “I am your father”? Boom--panty-dropper.

But that’s not the point here. Recently, Darth Vader got into a fight with Ikbale Hare, both are real people, and Mrs. Vader was involved.

Ikbale Hare and his wife Kelly (completely lame name in this context) are the Dark Lord’s neighbors in Wallsall, England. Hare apparently accused Vader of trying to coax Kelly to his sexual dark side, and Hare got T-Oed, to say the least.

The wannabe Jedi tried to fight Darth Vader with some scathing words, and before things progressed physically and light sabers were whipped out, Mrs. Vader tried to play peacekeeper by putting herself between the two fighting forces. Because no one would ever hit a lady, let alone the Dark Lord’s woman, right?

Ikbale Hare did. He punched her square in the face and then proceeded to throw some sand at the dude.

No one was seriously hurt, but Hare does face lifelong embarrassment among the Jedi community for using sand-throwing as a defense mechanism.

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