Jealous Neighbors Get Couple Arrested For Bumping Uglies Much Too Loud
It’s ok to have really great sex in your own home, but be careful, because if it’s so great that your neighbors can hear it, you might get arrested. Especially if you live in South Australia where more than two-thirds of the people polled online said police were right to arrest one rather vocal couple for just that.
Colin MacKenzie, 45, of Adelaide, South Australia says that he and his girlfriend, 34-year-old Jessica Angel, usually have sex for about four to seven hours at time, at least five nights a week. MacKenzie also admits that Angel is a noisy partner. He says for his part, mostly he’s just tired. Whoever it is must be making a lot of noise because police patrols have been to the couple’s suburban home 20 times since April due to neighbors’ complaints of excessive noise. Proving that it doesn't matter how romantic you are, nobody wants to listen to other people having sex for four hours every night.
Last week, the police and neighbors in Adelaide's Black Forest suburb had finally had enough and the couple will now likely be the first in SA to be charged with noise pollution offenses under the Environmental Protection Act and could face up to a $4000 fine. All because they can’t stick a sock in it while expressing their overwhelming love for each other.
On Sunday night, the less than demure Ms. Angel was issued an emergency Environmental Protection Order by police that required her to cease “emanating any and all environmental nuisance” including “screaming, loud moaning, swearing and raised voices” for 72 hours. Police were called to their home again early on Tuesday morning when neighbors complained of hearing “loud” and “very obscene” screams. Then, after a second visit to their home that morning, the couple were arrested and charged with disturbing the public peace and hindering an environmental protection officer.
Because of all of this, dare we say, uproar, website Adelaidenow issued a poll to see if the public agreed that a couple who has such disturbingly loud sex should be arrested by police. At this point, more than two thirds of the nearly 10,000 people who have responded to the poll say that they should.
Here’s the thing about loud sex, it’s great if you’re the one having it, but really quite obnoxious if you’re not. So, if you want to have loud sex in a place where your neighbors can hear you, make sure they are also having sex so they don’t care as much. Otherwise, their insane jealousy will get the better of them and you’ll spend the night in jail trying not to have sex at all.