The 10 Least-Intimidating Gimmicks in Professional Wrestling History
Professional wrestling has been built around the most athletic, bulky, and meanest looking dudes the world has to offer, but every once in a blue moon someone out of "the mold" makes a name in the business. Most of these guys don't go far, if anywhere at all, but a few have found success and even held world titles.
Looking like you can kick someone's tail is paramount to becoming a professional wrestler, but a unique look, style, or way of talking can sometimes be enough to crack into the exclusive boys club that is the "wrestling business."
Here's our list of guys who came off as too goofy, small, friendly, or clueless to be a menacing character at any point of their career.
The Shockmaster
Is there anything to fear from a guy who can't even make it down the entrance ramp without tripping over himself? Sure, there was a wall in-front of him, but that only adds to the hilarity.
Shockmaster was played by Fred Ottman under a bedazzled Storm Trooper helmet. Ottman is best known for his WWF/WWE runs as Tugboat and Typhoon. His work with John 'Earthquake' Tenta in the tag team 'Natural Disasters' goes down in history for being just as entertaining as they were gigantic.
Fred Ottman's second most infamous moment in wrestling came at WrestleMania 8, when he, John Tenta, and Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and Mike Rotunda) all ignored Vince McMahon request to shorten their bout for that evening, and instead just worked the match they all planned together.
These days, Ottman coaches Llittle League, and watches his nephew Cody Rhodes' grow a sweet mustache on WWE TV.
Spike Dudley
This English teacher turned ECW Original had everything needed to make it in the wrestling business -- except size. Spike Dudley was billed as being 5'9" and 150 lbs, which isn't big by any standards, but are both a stretch when looking at Spike, who was probably about 5'6" and 130 lbs.
Spike burst onto the scene as the lovable brother to ECW's heel stable, 'The Dudley Boyz'. It was in ECW that Spike Dudley would take some of the most brutal beatings wrestling history has ever seen. There were even times he was lawn darted from the ring into the crowd by the likes of Bam Bam Bigelow.
Spike went on to have success in WWE, winning Cruiserweight, European, and World Tag Team Titles before eventually moving on to semi-retirement.
Eugene
In the film 'Tropic Thunder', Robert Downey Jr. warned everyone that it was a horrible idea to ever go "full retard" when acting. Apparently, Vince McMahon didn't see things the same way, and booked Nick Dinsmore as the mentally challenged Eugene character.
While Dinsmore was certainly an imposing man, the character of Eugene was anything but. The nearly-loveable goofball was absolutely impossible to see as any kind of a threat. His gimmick, aside from being learning disabled, was to steal his favorite wrestlers' moves, and use them to win matches.
These days, Dinsmore works the indy circuit under his real name, and usually as the heel. Eugene was an unforgettable moment in his career, but that isn't exactly a good thing.
Mikey Whipwreck
Mikey Whipewreck was a short guy with no muscles, and he dressed like he just got back from playing Dungeons and Dragons in his mother's basement. He was everything Paul Heyman could have wanted in an underdog character.
Mikey Whipwreck paid his dues in the wrestling business, working his way up from ECW ring crew to ECW champion. Mikey held every title in the company, and was their third Triple Crown Champion. He spent some time wrestling for WCW in-between his Extreme Championship Wrestling runs. Mikey also worked on-screen for Ring of Honor in 2002.
Whipwreck recently returned to the ring for Wrestling New Classic in Tokyo, Japan, where he re-teamed with Taijri, who owns the company.
The Maestro
There's nothing scary about this guy except the fact that he sort of looked like Rutger Hauer. The Maestro was a wacky musical composer character brought out by World Championship Wrestling, and, like most of their gimmicks around this time, it bombed.
The Maestro was played by Robert Kellum, who has put twenty-three years into the wrestling business, and is still going. The guy is a veteran ring general, and The Maestro is the closest he ever got to "making it big."
Kellum took the gimmick into his own hands, and goes by The Stro on the independent scene.
The Blue Meanie
He was like Disco Inferno without the muscles. That is to say, The Blue Meanie was just a comedic character known for dancing. He didn't win many notable matches, or steal the show constantly, but there was a place for Meanie in ECW and WWE.
The Blue Meanie was trained by 'Hardcore' Bob Holly, and made his in-ring debut in 1994. He then grouped up with Stevie Richards and Raven, who took him everywhere they went in Extreme Championship Wrestling. Blue Meanie is more famous for his shoot with WWE Superstar J.B.L., than possibly anything else he's done in his career.
You can now find Da Blue Guy on Twitter, where he mostly makes comments about his Philadelphia Phillies.
'Pretty' Peter Avalon
One of the scrawniest dudes to ever lace wrestling boots up, Peter Avalon is a lot of things, but none of those things could be considered intimidating.
Peter Avalon is best known for his independent wrestling work on the western coast of the United States. He's worked for Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, Championship Wrestling From Hollywood, and even more obscure places. He used to sport a lot longer locks, but he lost those in a feud with fellow indy worker, Ryan Taylor.
Peter Avalon might not look like much in the ring, but he can take a bump, and work the microphone. His catchphrase, "PPA all day", is swift and silly. He can work both heel and face, but seems much more in his element as the bad guy.
Amazing Red
When you're billed as 5'6" in the wrestling world, you're probably better off becoming a referee, but that didn't stop Amazing Red. The guy didn't really have a character, or a lot of ring psychology, but he sure did like jumping off things.
The two biggest companies Amazing Red worked for would be Ring of Honor and Total Non-Stop Action. Despite his stature, Red found a place to fit in and it was TNA's X-Division, where he reigned as champion three separate times. He also won a Tag Team Championship with ECW alum, Jerry Lynn, while TNA was still using the National Wrestling Alliance's world titles.
Oddly enough, Red was trained by another guy on this list, Mikey Whipwreck. 2010 may have been his best year in wrestling, as he slotted into The Pro Wrestling Illustrated (Top) 500 at number 87.
3-Count
3-Count's gimmick was that of a boy band. If you're not familiar, during the 1990's there was a huge musical fad known as boy bands. These consisted of three or more bro's, under the age of thirty, singing horrible music. Guys like Justin Timberlake, essentially. That's what 3-Count was based on.
The group consisted of three wrestlers -- Evan Karagias, Shane Helms, and Shannon Moore -- all guys who made some kind of an impact in the wrestling world despite this horrible gimmick. Helms most famously as 'The Hurricane' in WWE.
These guys got their heat in the days when World Championship Wrestling was a sinking ship. To add a bit of menace, former Ultimate Fighting Championship brawler Tank Abbott joined the group to become 3-Count's manager.
Archibald Peck
The greatest time traveler that wrestling has ever seen, but that doesn't mean you couldn't give him a swirlie if you wanted to. Archie Peck is tall, lanky, and works a male cheerleader gimmick. Leading a marching band, and being dumped by a cheerleader for a jock, is the exact opposite of frightening. The guy is a dork.
Things have become a little tricky with Peck, since he seems to have single-handedly brought down the American independent wrestling promotion known as CHIKARA, where he may or may not have caused a time paradox or two. At this current moment there's at least two time traveling Archibald's out there, a lawyer named R.D. Evans, who is also probably an Archie, and it all just gets more confusing from there.
You can also catch Archie/Evans on Ring of Honor shows. He continues to work the indy circuit, while CHIKARA revels in its own obscurity.