Surfing Adult Sites on Your Phone May Lead to Financial Ruin

Using your smartphone to find content to spank-off to while in the office bathroom is a sure-fire way to end up with a nasty virus that could damage your equipment forever. No, we’re not talking about contracting some bizarre strain of jungle clap that will make your foreskin look like something off of the ‘Walking Dead’ – we’re talking about downloading potentially hazardous malware from all those porn sites you visit.

According to a recent study from web security company Blue Coat, people who use devices like smartphones or tablets to view porno sites are three times more likely to download a virus than those who spend their whack-time in front of a personal computer. In fact, the study finds that the act of surfing porn sites with smartphones has led to an insurgence of more malware than any other malicious efforts of the worldwide web combined.

“When you delve into the world of online pornography, you don't often know where you are, or where the content is coming from,” said Hugh Thompson, Blue Coat's chief security strategist. “But when you're visiting those sites, you are more inclined to make riskier choices than elsewhere on the Web.”

Thompson says that browsing questionable websites on your smartphone is like playing a wild-eyed game of Russian roulette, because they are no warning signs, and those who dare take the risk can expect to eat the bullet very soon. Online experts agree; saying that in 2013, smartphones are predicted to become the most common outlet for online financial and identity theft.

So unless you want to explain to your old lady that it was your obsession to online porn that led you to financial ruin, you might want to consider getting a subscription to a legitimate smut magazine just to be safe. Unfortunately, protected sex is a necessary evil - even when regarding a man’s masturbatory rituals. Indeed these are dark times.