Pro tip: when eating this hamburger, do NOT get a side of fries.

This monstrosity of meat is called the Nelson's Column, a hamburger that totals 10,500 calories. It's served at the Lord Nelson pub in Britain (we'll skip the obligatory "British food is awful" joke), so we recommend if you get it, you wait at least an hour and then swim back to the States to work off a few hundred of those calories.

This burger is more stacked than Kentucky's basketball team. The sauce cascades down like a Hawaiian waterfall. The space between the top and bottom bun is bigger than a wormhole to travel through time. The sandwich itself could've appeared in The Lord of the Rings: The Towers as one of the towers.

It's not just beef, either. Take out your culinary scorecard because here's what goes between the buns, according to the Mirror:

three 8oz beef burgers, five giant onion rings, lashings of BBQ sauce, 12 rashers of smoked streaky bacon, six slices of mature cheddar, two brioche buns smothered in home-made mayonnaise, an iceberg lettuce and a giant beef tomato.

It also comes with a pound of chips, four gherkins and 500g of coleslaw.

You get one hour to shovel all that food in your mouth, although no one has finished it yet, which is too bad because if you do the Lord Nelson will refund you the $46 that it costs.

Yup it's pretty substantial and certainly makes Little Caesars' latest offering look like it's straight off a dieter's delight menu. So, if you're in Britain, give it a go, but only if you can sway a cardiologist to go with you.