Vending machines have been targets of abuse and vandalism for almost as many years as they have been around. And while here in the states, branding the side of a condom machine with vulgar caricatures and profanity can warrant some trouble with the law - in Japan, you could lose your wiener.

In a small corner of the world, deep inside the Akihabara Electric Town in Tokyo, stands an infamous group of vending machines that is said to be protected by a heinous underworld of thugs and butchers prepared to sever the limbs and sex organs of anyone who dares desecrate the area with graffiti and bodily fluids.

However, the legend of these brutal, protective forces appear to be more gospel than folklore, as the following warnings are visibly posted throughout the area in yellow tape:

  • “Post No Bills, or we cut off your fingers.”
  • “Whether a man or woman, anyone caught making graffiti will have their genitals cut off with a carving knife.”
  • “Any posters, doodles, or bad art on this vending machine will result in chopping off all your fingers and toes.”
  • “This is not a toilet. Anyone peeing or crapping, regardless of gender, will have crotch and face photos and videos permanently and publicly posted.”

See pictures of all the warnings here.

While the threats of having an extremity hacked off in a dark alley with a dull hatchet may seem a bit excessive, keep in mind that treating a vending machine like a Porta Potty is rude and in bad form, no matter what country you live in. Traveler's note: Perhaps it is just best to remember to use the bathroom before taking in the sights in Akihabara.