The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
WWE Rumors: Wrestlemania 29 Card in Turmoil?
Jack Swagger's DUI arrest late Monday night may have not only screwed his major push in the WWE but it also could have a serious effect on the card for Wrestlemania 29.
WWE Star Jack Swagger Arrested For DUI
How did Jack Swagger follow-up his recent Elimination Chamber win? He got busted for a DUI and pot.
The Rock Unveils New WWE Championship Belt
After years of the spinning...um...hubcap the WWE has finally changed the look of the WWE championship belt. The new belt was unveiled on Raw last night.
Bruno Sammartino Explains What He Really Wants to Do to Vince McMahon
Bruno Sammartino, arguably one of the greatest wrestlers to compete in the squared circle, is finally being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Before he gets inducted he wants to do one thing to WWE owner Vince McMahon.
DeAndre Jordan’s Mom Makes Fun of Him on Twitter After Horrendous Air Ball
Every NBA player puts up a horrific shot every once in a while. It's the nature of the game. Most of them, however, don't get made fun of by their mom on Twitter for ugly shots.
Last night, DeAndre Jordan of the Clippers put up a free throw so lackluster that calling it an air ball would be a compliment to the shot and a slap in the face to air balls...
Oscar Pistorius Breaks Down In Court — Officially Charged with Murder of Reeva Steenkamp
Olympic star Oscar Pistorius broke down in tears as he stood before magistrate Desmond Nair. Pistorius is being charged with murder in the shooting death of his girlfriend, model Reeva Steenkamp.
Female News Anchor Doesn’t Know What the Gesture She’s Making With Her Hand and Mouth Really Means
I almost turned this video off .4 seconds into the most grating accent in the history of listening but then the female anchor said "big fat rubber end of my vibrating..." and things got interesting tout de suite.
For the sake of good banter, and awesome visuals of women pretending to give oral treats, watch this female anchor hand gesture herself into internet history...
Starter Jackets are Back!
Starter Jackets, those awesome 80s team jackets your mom wouldn't buy you because she thought it made you look like a gangsta rapper or drug dealer, are back.
Tedy Bruschi Ranks the NFC East Quarterbacks — Next Segment, He’ll Rank Flavors in Neapolitan Ice Cream
On a gym treadmill this morning, when faced with the Sophie's Choice of watching sports news for the tenth time or Guy Fieri and Rachael Ray cooking with the guy who married Donna Martin from '90210,' I chose the worldwide leader. I honestly try to stay away from ESPN as much as possible, but just like pleasuring yourself to necklace models on QVC, it's sometimes the best you've got in the moment.
Wrestling Cut from 2020 Olympics
The International Olympic Committee voted to drop wrestling from its schedule for the 2020 Games via a secret ballot during a meeting in Switzerland. Instead of eliminating the pentathlon, like many expected, the IOC decided to scrap wrestling.
Hulk Hogan is Tweeting Uncomfortable Photos of Legs Again
Last month, orange-skinned rasslin legend Hulk Hogan tweeted a sexy but awkward photo of his daughter Brooke's legs. He added only the words "Brooke's leg" giving the tweet an overall "psycho listing body parts of his victim" type vibe.
Well, the Hulkster is at it again, this time tweeting a pair of legs that would make even those with an iron-clad stomach cry like Ric Flair in
9 Cliches Your Local Sports Writer Will Include In His First Article From Spring Training
"The job of a sports writer isn't easy" claims hundreds of columns I've read over the years. These men watch and write about baseball for a living which sounds like a step above working in a hospice. It must be awful.
Les Miles Had a Lengthy Conversation With Himself on Twitter Last Night
Les Miles is a successful college football coach. Les Miles isn't so great at Twitter. He's got it half right at least, live-tweeting the Lakers and Heat tussle on NBC yesterday.
Kate Upton is the 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Girl — Act Shocked
Kate Upton will once again grace the front cover of the 2013 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. This isn't a repeat from 2012. Well, the news is a repeat, but the cover will be brand new.
Guy Fired For Getting in Argument Over Work Printer and Threatening to ‘Shoot Up the Place Like Newtown’
In the heat of argument, people sometimes say some dumb things. For example, I once got in an disagreement with a coworker and told him that I was going to piss in his coffee. I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say "in his desk drawer" but it was all cleared up the next day when he reached into his desk drawer. He was so surprised he spit out the cup of piss I made him!
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 Will Allow Players to Travel Back to a Time When Golf Was Probably Awful
EA Sports announced a slew of new features to the pending Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 game including "era-specific equipment and more realistic presentation." Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 will allow players to travel back to a time when golf equipment was little more than rocks tied to the end of sticks and players occasionally died of Polio on the course.
Vonn Bell Commits to Ohio State — National College Signing Day 2013
Vonn Bell, considered the nation’s third-ranked safety and the 29th overall recruit on National College Signing Day 2013, committed to Ohio State University.
I’m Almost Certain Willy Wonka Was a Pedophile [HALF A MAN]
His bulbous thumb jammed the pause button and the miniature needle slowly scraped against the disc. He asked if we needed to hear it again. The idling boombox, eager to continue on it's predestined rotation, made a whizzing noise in an oddly quiet classroom of two dozen teens...
Madden NFL 25 Rumors: Leon Sandcastle Will Appear and Players Can Go Clubbing and Get Drunk
Everyone has their opinion about the best Super Bowl commercial of 2013 and they are all 100% incorrect UNLESS their choice is Leon Sandcastle for the NFL Network. Sandcastle was so popular he might even show up in the forthcoming Madden NFL 25 game from EA Sports.
Baltimore Ravens are Super Bowl XLVII Champions
The Baltimore Ravens survived a late 49ers surge, a controversial non-call in the endzone and a 34-minute power outage to win Super Bowl XLVII by a score of 34-31.