The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
The Midnight Writer
14 Things Your Girlfriend Will Probably Say at This Year’s Super Bowl Party
There will be just as many women watching the Super Bowl this year as men. The ladies are going to have somethings to say. These are just some guesses.
8 Sexy Guinness World Records
The ultimate authority on record-breaking achievement is the Guinness Book of World Records. Some Guinness World Records are shocking. Some are insane. More than a few are downright disgusting. There are some Guinness World Records that are damn hot. From women with massive chests to balloon busting…
‘The K Ohle’ with Kurt Braunohler — Stick it in Your Earholes
Kurt Braunohler looks at things a little differently -- even podcasts.
5 Styles Your Old Man Rocked That Are Still Awesome Today
Dad's style choices get a bad rap. Sure, some choices were way off base, but occasionally the old man would hit the style nail on the head.
According to Women, They Often Turn Down Sex Because They’ve Got to Take a Dump
Women turn down sex all the time. They always have a legit reason. Specifically, eleven reasons according to this honest list on TheFrisky.
‘Troubadour’ by The Stepkids — Stick it in Your Earholes
A friend of mine suggested the new album from The Stepkids and said "you'll love it, it's funky yacht rock." I felt old for being unaware of The Stepkids and for not knowing funky yacht rock is a real thing -- and a compliment.
A History of ‘Saturday Night Live’ Season Premieres
On September 28, 'Saturday Night Live' premieres with host, and 'SNL' alum, Tina Fey kicking off the 39th season of the show.
Watch this Homeless Dude Do ‘Breaking Bad’ Impressions For Sandwiches
This homeless guy does some pretty decent 'Breaking Bad' impressions for a sandwich. Not bad.
How to Twerk With Senior Citizens
Kids twerk. Moms twerk. Now grandma can shake her rump just like she did when the Great Depression ended and she wasn't hiding under school desks from atomic bombs or whatever people did back when everything was in black and white.
5 Dirty Songs Every Dude Needs in His Music Library
A man thinks about sex every six seconds. A man sings about sex every twenty seconds. Neither of those statements can be verified. Let's assume they are true.
How Women Got Revenge Before Facebook
Before Facebook, Twitter and the internmawebs, how did people spread news to one another?
Guy Finds Medical Waste Warning Sign in Sushi Delivery– Gives it a Shot Anyway
Ever been so hungry that literally NOTHING could stop you from feasting on delivery grub? Not even a major red flag like...oh,I don't know...THE POSSIBILITY YOUR FOOD IS HAZMAT.
‘Scared Straight’ for Comedians is Actually a Decent Idea
Scared Straight was a genius concept decades ago. What if it worked on comedians?
Lily Collins Named ‘Celebrity Most Likely to Give You a Virus’
Lily Collins was named one of the most dangerous celebrities of 2013 because of what she can give you.
Batman ‘Affleck’ Shirt Really Could Not Be More Perfect
We're really not against Ben Affleck as the Dark Knight. Heck, we even defended the choice for the new Caped Crusader.
Behold the Ridiculousness of These Indie Rock Band Photos
If you've ever been in the presence of a professional photographer, you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, feel free to stick your filthy pointer fingers in your ear holes until I'm done.
Former MTV VJ Kennedy Has the Must-Read Book of the Fall
Kennedy is a polarizing figure. She'll tell you as much. Her new book, The Kennedy Chronicles: The Golden Age of MTV Through Rose-Colored Glasses, the former MTV VJ explains why she was so hated (and often so loved) and relives some of the biggest moments in what she christens "the most im…
How to Be a ‘Beta Male’ — With Comedian Kumail Nanjiani
Kumail Nanjiani is more than fine with never being the person in charge.
New Survey Says If Your Girl is Cheating, She’s Probably Humping Her Boss
Home is where the heart is but work is where the sex is -- according to a new survey from a website that helps hook up cheaters with other cheaters.
Comedian Mike Lawrence Proves Assembling a Toy Car is Actually Child’s Play
Comics just keep dropping by our office. We find things for them to do. We were so close to making one guy do some filing. Lucky for him we don't have files.