The Eater: Two-timing husband Joey Boca (Kevin Kline), a charming and successful pizza shop owner, who has long been cuckholding his wife. Unbeknownst to him, his wife, Rosalie (Tracy Ullman), has found out and is hellbent on a very serious kind of revenge spurned on by her extremely unforgiving mother (Joan Plowright).

The Food: Spaghetti and meatballs, laced with as much poison as possible in an attempt to kill him.

The Hitch: He won't die! No matter how many bowls of the stuff he puts down (his carb intake is through the roof, which would probably kill him eventually anyway), he just gets sleepy, which prompts the women to take more drastic measures involving extremely inept hitmen (Keanu Reeves and William Hurt), who don't fare much better.

The End Result: After all their attempts to kill him, Joey wakes up with a headache from a minor bullet wound and a new-found respect for his wife, whom he frees from jail by refusing to press charges. Go figure.