M is for Miserable Green Pets — St Patrick’s Day A-Z

Why is this a thing? Not only does it seem mean to subject a dog to the chemicals in dye at all, but the color never really seems to “take,” and they usually end up looking like that bottle blonde chick from swim team who always reeked of chlorine and had a slightly green tint to her hair.

Don’t dye your dog, it’s mean and ugly. Get them a stupid “Kiss my Shamrocks” sweatshirt, ok?