McDonald's is shaking up its menu. Except, instead of adding a hundred new items as usual, the Golden Arches is giving the golden axe to some crowd favorites.

Act surprised when I tell you it's mostly the healthy stuff and when I say "healthy" I mean it will kill you "later" rather than "on the way to the parking lot."

According to the AP, McDonald’s is getting rid of Chicken Selects and the Fruit & Walnut Salad, and is considering removing all of the Angus burgers.  Coincidentally, I've been trying to remove an Angus burger from my colon for about three weeks. The menu items will be replaced by "limited time" offerings like the new Fish McBites and more McWrap chicken sandwiches.

AP explains the possible motive behind the McShakeup:

"After years of outperforming rivals, McDonald's has been struggling as competitors including Burger King and Wendy's step up their marketing and menu offerings. Fast-food chains are also fighting to attract customers at a time when people are being more careful about where they spend their money."

Franchise owners think that having less items. "The menu at McDonald's has gotten so broad and so jumbled that nothing sells in large numbers," a former McDonald's franchisee told the AP.

I completely agree. I often stare at the McDonald's menu in a complete fog while my mind tries to process all of the options. I eventually settle on the healthiest option, which is now the actual toy inside the Happy Meal.

"These Power Rangers are ri-got-damn delicious!"

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